Wednesday, December 26, 2012
More pics
The picture below on the left is the first day we had Rocky. He looks so scared, lifeless, spiritless etc. He has come so far. The picture on the right is when he was home with us for 3 weeks. Look at the difference. Looking at that picture it makes me realize we did make a difference in his life. Thank you God for leading us in this direction. :)
Pictures of Rocky at the orphanage
Christmas
Christmas is such a hectic time of year. And now we have a 4 year old who doesn't understand anything and trying to get him through these hectic days. All he understands is opening gifts. He doesn't care if they are for him or not he just wants to rip the paper. Then he tosses the gift to the side. He did wonderful and was very happy throughout the holidays. I am glad they are over. At times like this it makes you realize that we don't need anything at Christmas. All we need is each other. I wish that we could go back in time and appreciate Christmas for what it really is. I am tired of hearing about retail stores and how busy everyone is. The meaning of Christmas is so lost. I have to admit I am part of this also. Why did I buy so many gifts? I tell myself every year I am cutting back and then I never do. Even this year we did not get much for Rocky but 3 gifts would be too much. He is just happy being in our arms and playing outside in the snow. He doesn't care about all the "junk'. But then I feel guilty if I don't get him gifts. I want him to be the person that is not materialistic. I want him to realize it is not important to have fancy cars or a fancy house. I really want him to know how much he is loved. And I mean loved unconditionally. I want him to know he is safe with us and nothing will happen to him. I want him to have the opportunity to get a good education and be the person he will dream about being. All I want him to be is happy.
I have been thinking about his mother lately. I wonder what she was like. I wonder why she let him go to the streets alone at 3. Things must have been terrible Was she sick, did she die and Rocky just left, was she so poor that she let him go? What were the circumstances that you let a 3 year old go? I have a statue of a black women holding a black baby by his bed and I tell him every night that this is Rocky and his mama. But he doesn't understand. He thinks it is me. I want him to know I love his mother for what she did. I have the most wonderful son. I tell him every night I will keep him safe and never let him go. I wish I could tell his mother that he is safe with us. I want her to know I will take great care of him. I feel such an emptiness when I think of her. I am trying to contact someone that speaks Lingala and maybe they can get some information from him about his past. I think when he learns English it will be too late for us to learn anything. I did find someone that lives in IL and they will talk with him on the phone but not sure if he will give any information. it hurts me that I won't be able to tell him anything about his past. No pictures or no memories from 0 to 4 years old.
Dan and I have been going to this wonderful church for about 6 months now and we are loving it. My favorite part of the week is church. I feel like they are our family. One thing I am struggling with is some family members are Catholic and they have a different outlook on us going to a new church. I understand we all have different views on religion and church but my thought is it doesn't matter what religion you are but that we all have the love for God. Part of our family is very religious and so many times I want to talk about what happened at our church and I can't. I bite my tongue every time. It is hard for me because church is now such a big part of my life. I understand that we are family and they want us to continue going to the church they grew up with, but things change. We all change. Change can be good. On Christmas Eve we went to Mass and Rocky typically runs in the room where they teach 4 year olds about God. this time he didn't want to go to that room. He wanted to stay with us. So we thought we would take him to mass and see what happens. It was almost like he knew it was Christmas. He sat there quietly and listened to everything happening. Now if you know Rocky he doesn't sit still for anything. I could not believe how he sat there. Yes we did sit in the front row and we sang our hearts out but still he was so good. Then pastor Ken started talking and he got a little bored and left to go to the restroom but then came back to finish the hour long service. It is almost as if he knew his place to be was with his family that night. It was wonderful that we were all together. Now this is what Christmas is all about. I wanted to tell our family about this. I think they would have been so proud but again I was silent. Why does religion have to but a strain on people's lives like this? It is so hard for me to comprehend. I hope one day we can speak freely about how happy we are and blessed that we found this wonderful church and new family.
We are so blessed that Rocky is part of our family. Besides having so much energy he is so loving. He kisses people all the time. He told our pastor Ken he loved him. He is so kind and has a big heart. He wants to be like everyone else. On Christmas my niece sang a little song to the family. Well Rocky loved that she was getting so much attention he sang a song after her. Now all we heard was part of jingle bells and that was "Hey" at the end. He was so cute. He hates sweets but after church they serve sweets like donuts or cookies. He has NEVER ate either one but when he sees all the kids eating he will eat one too. He still has to put it up to his nose like a dog and smell it but he eats it. I have to watch him like a hawk when he is around food because he picks up everything and smells it. He must have a good sense of smell. I am thinking when he was on the streets he probably smelled everything and if it smelled like food he would eat it. We went to a buffet today and he would have smelled everything and put it right up to his nose but I hold him back and ask what he wants. I put it on his plate he then goes back to the table and smells it.
He loves the cold here. He wants to go outside all the time. Dan is getting tired of going out and pushing him in a sled over and over. He will do anything to go outside. Today he was outside smashing an old piece of furniture and he had a hammer and he swung it and it hit his chin. Oh did he cry. He doesn't cry often with pain but today he did. He still has not gained one pound. He has lost weight. I am not sure why but we go to the doctor tomorrow. I think he is started to eat like a normal 4 year old now. He doesn't need to eat 24/7. He would always have food at his place at the table. He would eat more than me. But the last 2 days I said to Dan "he isn't eating very much" and Dan said "Heidi he is probably starting to eat like a normal 4 year old we are just not used to him not eating." Probably true.
Boy I could do this adoption thing over and over and over again. If it wasn't so much money I would do it again. There are so many kids that need homes but the price of adoption is so costly people are turned away from it. My purpose on Earth is to be a mom and I mean a good mom. I am here to help children that need help. I always wondered why God put me on Earth. Now as I am older I realized I am here for children. I will do all I can to help them. My kids come first (sorry Dan). I think I have a bigger calling coming. I am not sure what that is but I pray every day for God to lead me this way. It is a feeling I have and all I can do is wait. It is all up to God.
Hugs to all of you
Heidi
Here is my video of Rocky's gotcha day video
I have been thinking about his mother lately. I wonder what she was like. I wonder why she let him go to the streets alone at 3. Things must have been terrible Was she sick, did she die and Rocky just left, was she so poor that she let him go? What were the circumstances that you let a 3 year old go? I have a statue of a black women holding a black baby by his bed and I tell him every night that this is Rocky and his mama. But he doesn't understand. He thinks it is me. I want him to know I love his mother for what she did. I have the most wonderful son. I tell him every night I will keep him safe and never let him go. I wish I could tell his mother that he is safe with us. I want her to know I will take great care of him. I feel such an emptiness when I think of her. I am trying to contact someone that speaks Lingala and maybe they can get some information from him about his past. I think when he learns English it will be too late for us to learn anything. I did find someone that lives in IL and they will talk with him on the phone but not sure if he will give any information. it hurts me that I won't be able to tell him anything about his past. No pictures or no memories from 0 to 4 years old.
Dan and I have been going to this wonderful church for about 6 months now and we are loving it. My favorite part of the week is church. I feel like they are our family. One thing I am struggling with is some family members are Catholic and they have a different outlook on us going to a new church. I understand we all have different views on religion and church but my thought is it doesn't matter what religion you are but that we all have the love for God. Part of our family is very religious and so many times I want to talk about what happened at our church and I can't. I bite my tongue every time. It is hard for me because church is now such a big part of my life. I understand that we are family and they want us to continue going to the church they grew up with, but things change. We all change. Change can be good. On Christmas Eve we went to Mass and Rocky typically runs in the room where they teach 4 year olds about God. this time he didn't want to go to that room. He wanted to stay with us. So we thought we would take him to mass and see what happens. It was almost like he knew it was Christmas. He sat there quietly and listened to everything happening. Now if you know Rocky he doesn't sit still for anything. I could not believe how he sat there. Yes we did sit in the front row and we sang our hearts out but still he was so good. Then pastor Ken started talking and he got a little bored and left to go to the restroom but then came back to finish the hour long service. It is almost as if he knew his place to be was with his family that night. It was wonderful that we were all together. Now this is what Christmas is all about. I wanted to tell our family about this. I think they would have been so proud but again I was silent. Why does religion have to but a strain on people's lives like this? It is so hard for me to comprehend. I hope one day we can speak freely about how happy we are and blessed that we found this wonderful church and new family.
We are so blessed that Rocky is part of our family. Besides having so much energy he is so loving. He kisses people all the time. He told our pastor Ken he loved him. He is so kind and has a big heart. He wants to be like everyone else. On Christmas my niece sang a little song to the family. Well Rocky loved that she was getting so much attention he sang a song after her. Now all we heard was part of jingle bells and that was "Hey" at the end. He was so cute. He hates sweets but after church they serve sweets like donuts or cookies. He has NEVER ate either one but when he sees all the kids eating he will eat one too. He still has to put it up to his nose like a dog and smell it but he eats it. I have to watch him like a hawk when he is around food because he picks up everything and smells it. He must have a good sense of smell. I am thinking when he was on the streets he probably smelled everything and if it smelled like food he would eat it. We went to a buffet today and he would have smelled everything and put it right up to his nose but I hold him back and ask what he wants. I put it on his plate he then goes back to the table and smells it.
He loves the cold here. He wants to go outside all the time. Dan is getting tired of going out and pushing him in a sled over and over. He will do anything to go outside. Today he was outside smashing an old piece of furniture and he had a hammer and he swung it and it hit his chin. Oh did he cry. He doesn't cry often with pain but today he did. He still has not gained one pound. He has lost weight. I am not sure why but we go to the doctor tomorrow. I think he is started to eat like a normal 4 year old now. He doesn't need to eat 24/7. He would always have food at his place at the table. He would eat more than me. But the last 2 days I said to Dan "he isn't eating very much" and Dan said "Heidi he is probably starting to eat like a normal 4 year old we are just not used to him not eating." Probably true.
Boy I could do this adoption thing over and over and over again. If it wasn't so much money I would do it again. There are so many kids that need homes but the price of adoption is so costly people are turned away from it. My purpose on Earth is to be a mom and I mean a good mom. I am here to help children that need help. I always wondered why God put me on Earth. Now as I am older I realized I am here for children. I will do all I can to help them. My kids come first (sorry Dan). I think I have a bigger calling coming. I am not sure what that is but I pray every day for God to lead me this way. It is a feeling I have and all I can do is wait. It is all up to God.
Hugs to all of you
Heidi
Here is my video of Rocky's gotcha day video
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Better than expected
I can't believe how good things have been going. We have had one really difficult day with Rocky but that has been it. He has fit right in. It has been wonderful. He loves everything about America. He loves the snow. At first he didn't like it because it went in his eyes but that lasted maybe a minute. He loves wearing his boots and running in the snow. All he wants to do is play soccer. It was so cute when he was playing soccer and the snow was packing the soccer ball was getting bigger and bigger. You can tell he likes to be outside. I wish it wasn't winter. It can be hard at times sitting in the house with a 4 year old. We take him out every day and he tries to sneak out every once in a while without a coat on. He is a true gift from God.
The things that Rocky needs to get used to here in the states.
The things that Rocky needs to get used to here in the states.
- When you go swimming in a public pool keep your swim trunks on. It is not a public bathtub
- Don't do the farmer blow with your nose until you have a tissue
- You don't need to smell the food before you eat
- During the day you don't need all the lights on in the house
- Don't strip naked when you are going #2
- Don't go to the bathroom outside in public always use a restroom unless you are way up north with Papa where there are no restrooms
- Don't drink Ketchup out of containers it is used for dipping
- Don't open the fridge 100 times a day to see if there is food in there. it will never go away. We are constantly telling him to close the fridge.
- When the teacher gives you glue it is not conditioner for you to put in your hair.
We have been having so much fun with him. The only difficulty has been is his attachment to my daughter. She comes and goes because of her job and school. he doesn't understand this. He screams and cries and wants her all the time. It is hard on her and him. This morning she left for school and he was devastated. I am not sure if he is thinking she will never return. Then she feels bad and she feels such an obligation to him. He wants to sleep with her eat with her and do anything and everything with her. I wish I could help both of them with this.
His sleeping could be better too. He never wants to go to sleep. Once he is asleep he is a sound sleeper but it takes 1-2 hours to put him to bed. It is so tiring. I wish there was something we could do. Last night he did wake up but he just sat there. he didn't cry he just sat up. I finally took him and rocked him back to sleep. This probably has been the most difficult thing with him. I just think about him on a street alone. Living alone at 4 years of age. I am not sure how long he lived alone on the streets but I am sure it was a couple of days. There are so many kids running on the streets there. We just have to be understanding toward him.
He does say i love you, he counts 1-2-3-5 and skips 4 for some reason. He says Sommer, mama, papa and Hunter. He does copy us when we say something like "your silly" then he will say mama silly. He understands lots of English but talking will take some time.
He loves school. He never wants to leave. Tonight he has a Christmas program and we are so excited. He has been kind of singing Jingle Bells in his own way. Everything is coming together. We are so blessed to have Rocky in our lives. never a dull day.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Rocky at School.
My class & Rocky
I adore every one of these kids.
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Internet Connection in the Congo.
Rocky would play around this and it made me nervous
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School in the Congo
Rocky saying Good-bye to the orphanage
Soccer Game they play barefoot and on a mud field
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Our shower in the Congo. This is how much water came out and it was freezing cold every day.
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These are the streets in the Congo and the businesses
Rocky at the doctor and slept through the entire appt until the shots came. Then over to the dentist and he did really well there too.
Have been very busy
Sorry I have not posted in some time but I have been extremely busy. Of course the holiday season is right here and now. I also have 2 teenage birthdays at this time of year. And now I have a little one that is keeping me very busy. I am literally exhausted.
He is picking up on some English. My daughter Sommer loves it. He said her name and is saying other words here and there. I still like his French though. I will say Rocky and he will say "we mama". I love that and I don't want him to lose that but he will some day. Today he ran up to me and said I love you mama.
It is 60 degrees in Wisconsin in December. We went for a walk tonight and it was gorgeous. He loved it. He ran most of the way. he has tons of energy. He loves being outside but does not like the cold. He loves to play soccer. We could play all day. He doesn't like to wear shoes. It is hard to get shoes on him. He can be very independent and stubborn.
We went to my school today for a visit and he did so good. I took him to see my class and then to a kindergarten room. He wanted to stay there. he cried when we left so I think we are going to put him in school ASAP. Kids is all he knows and staying home with mama and papa is no fun for him.
Yesterday was a tough day. he cried 90% of the day. Language is the most difficult barrier between us. He tries to talk with us but we have no clue what he is saying. Then he breaks down and cries. I feel terrible. i wish I could help or do something.
His eating habits are getting better. Yesterday he was so hungry he came home and licked the crumbs off the table. He looks in the garbage a lot and we can't throw some things away. He will take them out.
Today he saw popcorn pop in the microwave and loved it. It is all these little things that are so cute. Dan took him to the park the other day and he was in heaven. Swinging on the swings and playing on all the equipment. He still is a good sleeper. He goes to bed at 8 and wakes up at 7 maybe a little earlier. He loves to sleep in Sommer's room. She loves him so much and babies him. He loves giving her little kisses. they have such a strong bond.
At times things can be very difficult with him. We are still working on many things. He has NO FEAR. He will run full force out in the road. He will jump from anything. I was at a hockey game the other day and I looked in another direction and I looked back at him and I saw him running into the rink full of people. I could not find him. He was having a blast and I was so scared. I can't talk to him and tell him not to do those things. Today we were at a basketball game and he would run out into the court so I grabbed him and went home. I wish there was a way he would understand you can't do certain things.
Another thing that really bothers me is when I am out and about in a store and he talks Lingala. I get strange looks from people because I think they think he is talking like a baby. I know we all judge but when it is you in the spot where people are looking it is very difficult.
Rocky will wear dan and I down but we love every minute of it.
He is picking up on some English. My daughter Sommer loves it. He said her name and is saying other words here and there. I still like his French though. I will say Rocky and he will say "we mama". I love that and I don't want him to lose that but he will some day. Today he ran up to me and said I love you mama.
It is 60 degrees in Wisconsin in December. We went for a walk tonight and it was gorgeous. He loved it. He ran most of the way. he has tons of energy. He loves being outside but does not like the cold. He loves to play soccer. We could play all day. He doesn't like to wear shoes. It is hard to get shoes on him. He can be very independent and stubborn.
We went to my school today for a visit and he did so good. I took him to see my class and then to a kindergarten room. He wanted to stay there. he cried when we left so I think we are going to put him in school ASAP. Kids is all he knows and staying home with mama and papa is no fun for him.
Yesterday was a tough day. he cried 90% of the day. Language is the most difficult barrier between us. He tries to talk with us but we have no clue what he is saying. Then he breaks down and cries. I feel terrible. i wish I could help or do something.
His eating habits are getting better. Yesterday he was so hungry he came home and licked the crumbs off the table. He looks in the garbage a lot and we can't throw some things away. He will take them out.
Today he saw popcorn pop in the microwave and loved it. It is all these little things that are so cute. Dan took him to the park the other day and he was in heaven. Swinging on the swings and playing on all the equipment. He still is a good sleeper. He goes to bed at 8 and wakes up at 7 maybe a little earlier. He loves to sleep in Sommer's room. She loves him so much and babies him. He loves giving her little kisses. they have such a strong bond.
At times things can be very difficult with him. We are still working on many things. He has NO FEAR. He will run full force out in the road. He will jump from anything. I was at a hockey game the other day and I looked in another direction and I looked back at him and I saw him running into the rink full of people. I could not find him. He was having a blast and I was so scared. I can't talk to him and tell him not to do those things. Today we were at a basketball game and he would run out into the court so I grabbed him and went home. I wish there was a way he would understand you can't do certain things.
Another thing that really bothers me is when I am out and about in a store and he talks Lingala. I get strange looks from people because I think they think he is talking like a baby. I know we all judge but when it is you in the spot where people are looking it is very difficult.
Rocky will wear dan and I down but we love every minute of it.
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